All You Need Is Love and A Plunger
by Violet Lunar Wolf
Summary: Just because their relationship isn't in the toilet doesn't mean other aspects of their marriage won't end up in there.


**All You Need Is Love and A Plunger**

Disclaimer: All Fantastic Beasts names, characters and locations belong to J.K. Rowling. I own nothing that you recognize.

_Written for Morsmordre's Shipping Week_  
_Prompt: jewelry_  
_Pairing: Mary Lou/Ivan_

* * *

When you lived in the house of Mary Lou, you were used to the unusual goings on: leaves scattered throughout the house, peas floating in the toilet and dampish bread molding on the kitchen counter.

It was during one of these peculiar mornings that Credence was shoved aside, interrupted while he was brushing his teeth. The poor boy nearly dropped his toothbrush when his mother ran into the bathroom, yelling something about a missing ring.

"R-ring, Ma?" Credence stammered, his back against the sink.

"Yes, you foolish child!" Mary Lou spat, her eyes burning like hot coals as she glared at her trembling son. "I was taking the peas for a potty break last night. Some of the little ones were wet, and I had to change their diapers. But my wedding ring, it's gone. It must have slid off when I was changing them."

Her son glanced nervously around the room. He hadn't seen any sign of his mother's wedding ring. Not on the bathroom counter, not in the medicine cabinet over the sink. But his mother had a habit of drinking, and in her intoxicated state she could have lost the ring anywhere.

And then he saw it, a faint glimmer out of the corner of his eye. He looked over and saw the priceless wedding ring on the back of the toilet, sitting there in a puddle of pea juice.

"Ma," Credence said slowly, lifting his head and finally making eye contact. "I think... I-I think it's there." He pointed at the ring, and Mary Lou gasped.

She reached for the ring, her eyesight blurring from the amount of moonshine she'd consumed with breakfast, and the ring slipped from her hands, taking a nosedive into the pea clogged toilet.

"No." Her voice was quiet, disbelieving. She knelt beside the toilet, staring into the putrid liquid. "No! No, my ring! My wedding ring!"

Mary Lou lunged at the toilet, both hands disappearing beneath the layer greenish scum. Her son tried to stop her, putting his arms around her waist and lifting her off the floor. But she was hysterical, drunk and furious. She screamed at him, her hands dripping with wet strands of toilet paper as she slapped him across the face.

"Chastity!" Credence cried, calling for his little sister. He struggled with his mother, her wails echoing off the bathroom walls. She was practically in tears by the time Chastity arrived, thinking her ring had been lost to the toilet forever.

.oOo.

Mary Lou woke up several hours later, her precious ring returned to her finger after Credence rescued it from the toilet. She had passed out after a brief struggle with her children, hitting her head on the side of the bathtub when Chastity accidentally dropped her.

Together with her brother's help, Chastity carried their mother to her room and placed her on the bed. It was here that they were greeted by Ivan, who immediately showered them in leaves when they entered the room.

Credence winced and took a step back, a flurry of leaves hitting him in the face.

"It's alright, Ivan," said Chastity, brushing the leaves out of her hair. "She's just sleeping. That's all."

In an effort to calm the worried piece of machinery, Chastity picked him up and sat him on the bed beside his wife, where he proceeded to nibble the pillowcase. He was still there when Mary Lou woke up, only now he had moved on to eating the sheets.

"Ivan," Mary Lou cooed, reaching up and gently stroking his side. Her ring glittered in the sunlight, her eyes widening as she turned her attention towards the sparkling stone at its center. "But how?" she murmured, her thoughts still a bit hazy after everything that had taken place.

In the end she decided that it had been nothing more than a dream. She put her arms around her husband, snuggling up close and listening to the sound of his gears softly clinking as he sung her to sleep.


End file.
